Welsh Beer Festival at the Hillsborough Hotel

Went to the Welsh Beer ‘Festival’ at the Hiho last night, along with Andy, Craig, Ian, Suddy and Vee.

I returned a little frazzled, but slightly disappointed, as I didn’t discover any new ales of any quality. I do, however, feel compelled to write about Warcop Ales ‘Honeyed Stout’ (4.5%).

Those who know me, and know me well, will know that I have a penchant for dark ales. Well, any ales. But milds and porters especially. Sometimes stouts can be a little too peaty for my liking, so I picked Honeyed Stout mid-way through our session as I felt it might offer me some deep, dark flavours along with the sweet undertones of the honey. I was hoping it’d be some bastard-cross of Waggledance and a chocolate stout. I was wrong.

I really am struggling to find the right adjectives to describe just how utterly disgusting this beer was. It seemed to be a fairly average looking stout, a little lighter than typical. The nose was a little bacon-y, which probably should have set off alarm bells as I can’t stand bacon. The initial tasting was ok, but once it passed the tongue and slipped down the esophagus it turns into pure, unadulterated evil.

It’s the aftertaste. It’s just awful. I’m not sure where the honey has gone, because it doesn’t taste anything like honey. In fact, it doesn’t taste quite like anything I’ve ever drunk before. It tastes a little bit like the nasty taste you get in the back of your throat when you do a particularly bilious belch after a night’s drinking. Except this is in the middle of your drinking session, in fact, it’s in the middle of you swallowing the ale itself. It really has to be tried, just once, to appreciate the horror.

One mouthful was enough for me – Andy couldn’t believe that I found it that bad. So, foolishly, he tried it. The contortions that his face took told me all I needed to know. I seem to recall that he deemed it the “worst thing I’d ever put in my mouth”.

I put the remainder to one side, and wandered off to find a replacement. When the barman asked me what I’d like, I responded somewhat off-the-cuff, with, “Something to take away the horrid taste of that Honeyed Stout!”. I expected a rebuttal from the barman, a fully paid-up CAMRA member, but instead he just chuckled and said “Yep. It’ll do that. It’s bloody horrible”. (Bastard! Why didn’t you tell me that when I ordered one a few minutes ago?!)

I returned with a different choice and sat down. In my absence, Ian had put the damned stout back on my beermat – not that I’d noticed, of course. On auto-pilot, I simply picked it up and took a big chug, preparing for my new drink. Thankfully, as soon as it hit the palate my body rejected it, and I dispensed it out, back into the glass. Bastard! Cue much laughing from the rest of the table.

The rest of the selection was fairly average, disappointingly. Nothing to write home about, at least, positively. Oh, the Purple Moose ‘Dark Side of the Moose’ was nice – a strong mild with a slightly fruity overtone.

Come on Wales, you can do better!

Related posts:

1. Rotherham Oakwood Beer Festival Attended the afternoon and evening sessions today of the Rotherham...
2. No Beer For Old Me A day spent in the drizzly, cold Docklands. Installed the...