the fucking scene is fucking sad
the fucking news is fucking bad
the fucking weed is fucking turf
the fucking speed is fucking surf
the fucking folks are fucking daft
don’t make me fucking laugh
it fucking hurts to look around
everywhere in chicken town

the fucking train is fucking late
you fucking wait you fucking wait
you’re fucking lost and fucking found
stuck in fucking chicken town

the fucking view is fucking vile
for fucking miles and fucking miles
the fucking babies fucking cry
the fucking flowers fucking die
the fucking food is fucking muck
the fucking drains are fucking fucked
the colour scheme is fucking brown
everywhere in chicken town

the fucking pubs are fucking dull
the fucking clubs are fucking full
of fucking girls and fucking guys
with fucking murder in their eyes
a fucking bloke is fucking stabbed
waiting for a fucking cab
you fucking stay at fucking home
the fucking neighbors fucking moan
keep the fucking racket down
this is fucking chicken town

the fucking train is fucking late
you fucking wait you fucking wait
you’re fucking lost and fucking found
stuck in fucking chicken town

the fucking pies are fucking old
the fucking chips are fucking cold
the fucking beer is fucking flat
the fucking flats have fucking rats
the fucking clocks are fucking wrong
the fucking days are fucking long
it fucking gets you fucking down
evidently chicken town

John Cooper-Clarke, 1980.

For example, I’ve recently switched to listening to Radio 2 in the afternoon when driving home from work. I just found myself constantly cursing Radio 1′s choice of music – it wasn’t so much the DJ’s (in fact, I still listen to Moyles for the morning commute – I can’t yet bear to bring myself to purposfully listen to Terry fucking Wogan), but the music.

Mindless chart shit. If it isn’t the latest re-hash fuckup dance remix of a classic tune, it’s some godwawful R’n'B, or it’s whatever is flavour of the month on planet ‘Emo’.

At least with Wrighty and Evans in the afternoon it’s total pot-luck – they really play *any* tune from the last 60-odd years! Sometimes I switch Radio 2 on and i’m treated to music as diverse as the Happy Mondays, or Aretha Franklin or Godley and Creme. Hell, I’ve heard them play Edith Piaf before now! Intermingled with these older tracks, Radio 2 also play new music – take a look at their playlists and I’ll bet that you’ll be surprised when you find that The Killers, Gwen Stefani and the Red Hot Chili Peppers are on there. So, take a dip, grow old, and try Radio 2 in the afternoon – it really is a refreshing change from Scott “My show isn’t a total sketched setup, no, honest it’s not sir” Mills.