Finished the single-player element in Call of Duty 4. Excellent game - shame the single-player mode is so short. Some of the touches are just outstanding though - like being the thermal-imaging gunner on the plane, or the frankly fantastic slow-motion sequences when things go a little hairy - like just after your helicopter's been flung out of the sky by the blast of a nuclear explosion, or when the bridge your jeep is travelling over is suddenly shot out from beneath you by enemy helicopters - it's certainly the most atmospheric first person shooter out there.

I gave the multiplayer a whirl tonight...and, well, it's disappointing. There's just not that level of control and precision available with the joypad controllers. First person shooters need WSAD and a mouse - it's the law. Maybe, given enough practice, I could get competent with the joypad, but, I doubt it.

It seems you have to 'unlock' some of the more interesting multiplayer modes, and until I earn some points I'm stuck with the deathmatch modes - which are pretty dull. Lots and lots of spawn-point campers. I might just've been unlucky, who knows?

Seeing as I got my Xbox 'Live' voodoo working again (the card associated with the account had expired) I gave Guitar Hero III a bash 'online'. Now, I'm no guitar virtuoso (yet!) but I've completed all the 'Easy' mode, and am working my way through 'Medium', and I expected the system to match me up with someone of a similar skill level. Not so.

I was matched up with some kid who took great pleasure in trouncing me over a few songs - top tip, selecting 'Easy' mode when playing online obviously gives away your 'n00b' status far too obviously!

It appears that once you enter Xbox 'Live', and go into a game, game developers have thought it to be grrreat to allow gamers equipped with microphones to be able to talk to you whilst in-game. This is fine in games like COD4, where there's an element of team play, but in other games it's just a bloody annoyance.

In the aforementioned Guitar Hero III online game, I said I got trounced by this kid. Now, I know it was a kid (as opposed to an adult) because he took great pleasure in berating me after his win - using the microphone chat - which gave away his pre-bollock-dropping voice. I can't recall exactly what he did say - but it was pretty offensive, and just not what you want to hear when you're trying to kick back and relax. The last thing you want is some little chav invading your living room and offending you when you can't talk back.

Can you turn this shit off, Xbox 360 owners?